Audra & The Antidote

I might as well start from the beginning. One night in July I was checking my email and noticed a mass-email with the subject "New Music Award." It intrigued me so I decided to see what it was all about. It linked me to www.newmusicaward.com and learned that it was sponsored by Dick Clark Productions (the producers of The American Music Awards), CMJ Network, and Coca-Cola. The winner of this award would play on the American Music Awards. Not only that, but it was free to enter so I began uploading three of our most progressive songs: "Jenny's Got A Boyfriend", "The Highschool Song", and "Strange & Beautiful".

As soon as we got back from our ill-fated Mid-West Music Fest trip I got a call from CMJ letting us know that we were on of the top 50 qualifying bands. This was pretty cool since the 50 were narrowed down from over 800. We were to receive our affidavits via fedex that each band member was to fill out, have notarized, and return in three days. At the time Steve Lamm had begun filling in on guitar again so I explained the contest to him and he agreed to be a part of it.

Somewhere around the first of September I received another FedEx. This time it was a congratulatory note saying we had been chosen as one of the top 10 bands to go to NYC and play at the The Bowery Ballroom Bowery Ballroom Sept. 13, 2001 as part of the quarter-final event! I immediatly called everyone. Needless to say we were all very excited.

CMJ called soon after to ask me to submit two more songs in place of "The Highschool Song" and "Strange & Beautiful." I thought it rather silly to be having to do that but I understood where "The Highschool Song" might cause trouble. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what in "Strange & Beautiful" was objectionable. Upon calling CMJ back they let me know it was the word "lesbian" that was causing the trouble. I couldn't believe it!!! Coke who was sponsoring the event had ridiculous guidelines of what could be said and what couldn't. I argued and even half-jokingly asked if lesbians were allowed to participate. I replaced the two songs with "Giving Up & Letting Go", and "Sugardaddy" where I say "I like my men like I like my Brandy...to go down smooth. They didn't have a problem with that!

Since we were chosen for the top 10 we immediately began thinking of the next round - the 2 week tour in October that spanned the country. We had a good chance of reaching this round since 5 out of the 10 bands were to be chosen for this. We were drooling at the mouth over the possibility. Well...all of us except for Steve. At that point Steve began telling us that he might not be able to go since he might not be able to get out of work for 2 whole weeks. He was back and forth for two weeks stressing me out as much as possible until days before we were to go. Kim and I were so excited that we were counting down the days.

The day before we were to leave I had to work the open shift at the coffee shop (6:30AM). I was full of nervous energy thinking about all I needed to get done in preparation to leave for NYC the next day, Sept. 12. At about 8:00am Steve called me. I was just sure he was going to try to stress me out even further. I answered the phone:

"Hey, what's up?"
"Audra, have you heard the news?"
"No, I'm here at work."
"Audra, sit down."
"What is it Steve?" sure he was quitting at that moment.
"Terrorists have just attacked New York!"
"What? What do you mean? What happened?!"
"A plane just flew into the World Trade Center!"

I began thinking of the story of the small plane that accidentally flew into the Empire State Building sometime in the 40's. I repeated out loud what Steve had told me and a customer said she had heard a plane flew into one of the Trade Centers but that no one had said anything about it being terrorists. I was sure Steve was just being overly dramatic.

"Steve, do you know it was terrorists???" I said suspectfully.
"Well...no...I bet it is though. It has to be! Turn on the news."'

We turned on the radio and then heard the other tower was attacked. My stomach sank. None of us realized the immensity of the situation yet. I was still thinking of my own little dilemma. Was our trip going to be cancelled? Then the first tower fell and I began to realize what had happened and broke into tears, only not for my own situation. By the time the pentagon was hit I was already numb. Kim walked in at 9:00 and we both just looked at each other in disbelief.

I felt selfish even thinking about our contest but we were supposed to have left the next day and nobody knew what to do. Obviously no one was reachable at CMJ in NYC. There was no question whether we were going once the airports were shut down. I, like everyone around me, became obsessed with the news and what would happen next.

After about a week and a half we were all still feeling sad and mad and whatever else, but the shock was wearing off. I was beginning to feel OK with thinking about our own little problems. We still didn't know what our rescheduled date would be, but we knew that if we made the tour it wasn't going to be rescheduled and that would start Oct. 11. That meant we had to start practicing like we were going to go on the tour.

Steve went back to his wavering about whether or not he could go with us. I checked with CMJ to see if he could be replaced, and Dick Clark Productions said "no". This meant the if he couldn't go we were going to have to somehow play as a four-piece - something we had NEVER done.

We found out that our trip to NYC had been moved to Oct. 9 (John Lennon's B-day) to still be around CMJ. Originally it was to be a kick-off event the first night of CMJ but with the rescheduling of CMJ and our event it was now to be the day BEFORE the first event. Kim, JT, and Audra Also, if we were chosen to go on tour it would begin THE NEXT DAY. Originally we were to have a month to prepare.

After going back and forth with us as to whether he could go on tour with us, Steve told me two weeks before we were to go that his bosses said he could go and that it was "100%" certain. We were all relieved but still felt so uneasy about it that we made up tracks with some of his recorded guitar parts in it. Our feelings of doubt were more than justified when one week later (and one week before we were to leave) he said he definitely couldn't go.

Emmy and Kim Kim rose to the challenge and began working on some kick-ass keyboard parts to replace and/or simulate the guitar. JT I began working on a guitar solo for "Jenny's Got a Boyfriend" - so much so that my fingers would start bleeding whenever I would start playing - and rearranged what I played in the other songs. Our confidence was up and in fact we thought we even sounded better without him. We definitely felt better.

The day before we were to leave I was again at work when I got the news that we had started bombing Afganistan. The retalitory threat of terrorism became a real threat to us. There we were to get on a plane and head to NYC the next day. However, that's just what we did (of course, we all had a couple drinks ahead of time).

Finally we landed in NYC! It was such a thrill to be there at last. We checked in to our rooms at the NY Hilton, made it to the hotel bar, and waited for Kim's friend Matt, and my friend Dawn. I had never actually met Dawn but we had been emailing eachother ever since she saw us on Farmclub. She's a fellow female rocker who fronts the NYC based band, Slushpuppy

Dawn from SlushpuppyDawn and her husband/bandmate, Gary took us to a cool Sushi restaurant, and then to Arlene's GroceryArlene's Grocery . Every Monday night they have "Punk Karaoke" with a live band. That night it was "Corporate Rock" night. All your favorite corporate rock bands from the early 80's could be heard. J.T. knew all the words to all the songs. He tried to sign up but by the time he got the nerve up all the spots had been filled.

We left Arlene's after one too many Boston songs and headed toward Meow Mix. We poked our head in, but decided not to go in since the place was empty and there was a $5 cover. We walked over to CBGB's also and did the same thing. Emmy was getting very tired (she had a long week - her new bass was stolen from her new apartment a few days before. Luckily she had renter's insurance who covered everything.) so we took her back to the hotel. The rest of us went out to a nearby pub and accidentally got on the subject of world politics.

The next morning we enjoyed our complimentary breakfast and looked around to see if we could spot any other bands. It wasn't too hard: either you had on a suit, or you were in a band. At 11:30am the first group of bands gathered in the lobby to head off to the Bowery Ballroom for soundcheck. All the bands were so nice. A couple even let us know how much they liked our song, "Jenny's Got a Boyfriend" on the CD (first track of the compliation).

The bus was almost an hour late and it took almost an hour through NY traffic to a place that was less than ten minutes away by subway. Soundcheck began and we were the second band. Once it was our turn we took stage with our many accoutrements: loops, stool, and telephone. Kim at Sound CheckThe soundmen were very confused about the telephone even though it plugs in like a regular microphone. I had to use a marshall stack - very different from my amp - and Kim had to use a totally different keyboard. We both managed with what we had though she was not able to switch between sounds fast enough with the keyboard they provided for her. We played our song twice through though not smoothly at all. Sound Check In fact after soundcheck I was even more nervous than before. The fact that they were going to allow Kim to use her own keyboard was at least some comfort.

On the way back from soundcheck I began talking to a couple of the guys from Carbon Leaf - our best pick (besides ourselves, or course). JT, always the voice of reason, made me realize soundcheck was not as bad as I thought and that everything was going to be great.

While we were all in Sephora trying on make-up and perfume, my sister called to let me know they had arrived in NY and they would meet us in the lobby of the hotel. However, on our walk back to our rooms we ran into my family on the street instead! They were all very excited to see the show - especially my dad who had NEVER seen me perform (other than on Farmclub). We went back to the rooms, dressed up, and hopped on the bus.Emmy and Audra

Once there my family left to find something to eat while we had to get our pictures made with the judges. Oh, the judges liked the looks of us. We heard, "Wow, we'll definitely be seen in this picture!" while receiving the leers. Three middle aged men just can't help it.

The people were finally let in and guess who showed up - Jenny! Jenny and Audra Well, she actually goes by "Jenn" (she hates being called Jenny) but she was there in the flesh. Of course she said she wouldn't have missed it for the world. After all the song is in her honor. I was so excited she was there I introduced her to everyone.

The show started with the members of every band singing "America the Beautiful" onstage, and the annoucement that they would be collecting money for the New York Fire Department that night. In fact, many firefighters were invited to the show.

The first band, Yo Flaco! went on and did well. They had choreography along with their horn section which I'm always a sucker for. Before I knew it the next band, The Mansions were already off the stage. Not long after that it was Jennifer Marks, Live Honey, and Carbon Leaf. It was all going by so fast. It really was - they were almost an hour AHEAD of schedule. That is unheard of in the music business.

When Belle Canto hit the stage, we had to hit the dressing room to prepare. Almost before I was finished tuning Fade was hitting their last chord and it was our turn to go. The butterflies were gone...I was just excited. We took our time setting up since there was plenty of time to spare. I got my guitar tone, we checked the loops and keys, and it was go time.

showtime I could see the crowd. They were staring motionless at first like every crowd always does. This time at about the second verse they started singing! Girls in the crowd were singing it with us - Jenny's Got a Boyfriend! I could feel the excitement from the stage. It came to the guitar solo...and I hit it! I didn't miss a note. I saw my friend Dawn jump up and down after striking the last noteShowtime . Before we knew it our song too was over.

I left the stage and was immediately greeted by my sister, Brooke. She too had genuine excitement in her eyes. She raved and raved over our performance. The other bands who had seen us in soundcheck came out to congratulate us. The tour managers who would be on the road with the 5 winning bands came over to us to tell us how much they enjoyed it and said, "We'll see you on the road tommorrow!" We were all feeling so good, and so confident.

It seemed like an eternity for the results of the contest to be known. The had of CMJ finally came up to the stage to announce the winners. When your band name is announced please come on stage...

Live Honey!...

Yo Flaco!...

Fade...

Jennifer Marks...

and...

Carbon Leaf

Audra with flowers We didn't make it. Kim burst into tears. I couldn't believe it. None of us could and neither could anybody else. For a few minutes everything was in slow motion. Friends, family, strangers, the soundmen, the other bands, all came over to us to tell us they couldn't believe we weren't chosen. "You were robbed" seemed to be the catch phrase for the evening.

Emmy and JT We drowned our sorrows and wallowed in our disappointment with the other bands that would also have to go home the next day with bags full of three weeks worth of clothing. At midnight the bus left back for the hotel and we had to endure the celebrations of the winning bands. We just couldn't make sense of it. WHY didn't they choose us? Our performance was great - even the other bands said so. Our song was many people's favorite. We were sooo good looking that night. It just didn't make sense.

We all (plus Jenn minus Kim who got vomitingly ill) went out to a nearby pub after getting back to the hotel. The fellows from Carbon Leaf bought us drinks and we all had a good time talking to The Cautions, and Imaginary Bill.

Early the next morning Jenn and her mom said good-bye and I went downstairs to say farewell and good luck to the winning bands. Of course I wanted to be in that bunch but I figured I might as well be a good sport.At breakfast I ran into the Cautions and later was joined by JT. We decided we should have a "loser tour" sponsored by Pepsi and the Grammys. We had a good laugh over that. at breakfast A little later Kim, Emmy, and Matt finally made it down. When we were done we only had a couple hours to see the city before we had to be back for the shuttle.

Matt directed us to Urban Outfitters where we all bought a little something, and then made our pilgramage to Strawberry Fields in Central Park. Since John Lennon's B-Day was the day before, the The Imagine MemorialImagine memorial was decorated. To a Beatles fan, it was quite moving. Seeing the Dakota (where he was shot) in person was a little unnerving.

After a good New York Deli lunch we headed back to the Hilton with what we thought were just moments to spare. However, our flight was leaving at 7:00Pm instead of the 6:00PM I thought it was when I booked our shuttle the night before to leave at 3:30PM. At 4:00 when the shuttle still hadn't gotten there, I called - and good thing I did. I had called the night before, but did so AFTER midnight. Because I asked for a shuttle for "tomorrow" they booked it for the next calander day. Luckily the service was helpful and another driver picked us up in about 20 minutes.

As expected the lines at the La Guardia Airport were very long due to increased security. Armed guards were everywhere which was comforting in a way. Our plane was borded with not much time to spare. During the flight all the flight attendants kept flirting with JT and sitting down next to him. I guess this caught the eye of Tom Wopat (Luke Duke, Duke's of Hazaard) because he asked him what band he was in after I started talking about band practice. Apparently he assumed we must be rock stars with all the fuss the stewardesses were making over J.T. They continued their conversation all the way to baggage claim after which we had a good laugh about.

Here we are back in the real world again having to explain to everyone what happened. WE DON'T KNOW!!! Does anyone out there know?